I have never questioned my self about wanting to become a teacher. I have never question my self about having the ability to become a teacher. In fact, I've always thought of my self to have a certain "greatness" when it comes to teaching. Obviously, I've never taught an actual class before, but I possess a lot of experience in teaching multiple Pre-k classes with a guided curriculum. How different could it be???
Back to this "greatness" though. I've always had this desire to help kids; which I might add that I'm great at. I have the ability to find ways of connecting their existing knowledge to new knowledge. I'm so creative that it stuns me sometimes to think that I actually came up that. For the most part, I am able to keep an open mind about things, seeing ideas from other perspectives.
This class has shattered my greatness. For the first time in 4 1/2 years, I've actually asked my self,"Is this the right profession for me?" This is NOT what I want to be thinking with less than a year left until i graduate college.
In terms of this class, I feel everything I've gained and learned about teaching in the past is the complete opposite of what we are learning now. I find my self evaluating everything that I've learned. I knew teaching was never going to be easy, but incorporating these styles of thinking into all content areas is going to be more than a challenge. I've always been able to handle a challenge, but i don't know about his one...
I'm glad you are recognizing how difficult teaching is. Do not worry too much about your "greatness" at this point in class. I'm glad you are being challenged to evaluate what you think of as "good teaching", but instead of seeing the different ways of doing things as an "ether/or" decision, try to consider how you might take things from each. That is, to take the best of all worlds.
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't be too hard on yourself. Becoming the teacher you want to be takes time and effort, it does not happen over night! But if you are too hard on yourself, you'll give up. Keep your eyes on the goal, but realize just trying to improve yourself will put you ahead of the curve!